By Carol Goh
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In their first relationships, most teenagers experience infatuation, which can be a more consuming feeling than love. This infatuation could leave youths more susceptible to being victims of emotional abuse. In this article, we discuss the signs and effects of emotional abuse, and how to begin healing after leaving such a relationship.
What is emotional abuse?
When most people think of abuse, the first thing that comes to mind is likely physical abuse—something that leaves visible marks. Yet, not often discussed is emotional abuse, which leaves invisible scars that are just as damaging.
Emotional abuse is a form of mistreatment where the abuser causes their partner emotional or mental harm. Often, the intent of the abuser is to gain power and control by criticising, shaming, or manipulating their partner.
Signs and effects of emotional abuse
Emotional abuse is one of the most challenging forms of abuse to recognise. While it does not physically cause harm to the victim, it is just as serious, as it can be incredibly traumatising.
Possible signs include:
- Shaming, humiliating, or criticising the victim (for example, talking down to the victim or making jokes at the victim’s expense)
- Isolating the victim from their loved ones or friends
- Controlling and monitoring aspects of the victim’s life (for example, their whereabouts, what they wear, who they interact with on social media, and who they spend time with)
- Making threats to get what they want
- Giving the silent treatment until they get what they want
- Gaslighting—misleading the victim to question their judgment and reality (e.g., “you’re exaggerating”)
- Accusing or blaming the victim for the abuse (leading to guilt and confusion)
- The victim walking on eggshells for fear of provoking consequences
- Stress-related physical symptoms such as headaches, body aches, or eczema
Experiencing these behaviours repeatedly over time can instil self-doubt and feelings of worthlessness. Especially in teen relationships, emotional abuse can lead to serious consequences that impact mental well-being and day-to-day functioning.
- Short-term effects: fear, low self-esteem, difficulty concentrating, social withdrawal
- Long-term effects: anxiety, depression, insomnia, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
Breaking the cycle of abuse
Ending the cycle can be challenging, but it is possible.
- Recognise and name the abuse. Notice the pattern of control beneath “honeymoon” periods.
- Build a safety net. Confide in trusted adults (parents, counsellors, teachers) and close friends.
- Plan exits and boundaries. Reduce contact where possible; document incidents if safety is a concern.
- Seek professional support. Early intervention reduces the risk of longer-term trauma.
If this relates to you or your teen, please book an appointment or contact us. In urgent situations, WhatsApp us.
Healing from emotional abuse
Emotional abuse is a type of trauma that can affect a victim even after they have left the relationship. Counselling and psychotherapy help to process, rebuild, and relearn safe connection.
At Emotional Wellness, we provide professional counselling in Singapore. We personalise therapy using:
- EMDR to desensitise and reprocess painful memories and triggers. Learn more: EMDR
- Schema Therapy to shift deep-seated beliefs like “I’m unlovable” or “I’m powerless.” See: Schema Therapy
- Gestalt / chair work to express unsaid anger, grief, and boundaries safely
- Skills work (CBT, mindfulness, communication) to stabilise mood, sleep, and self-advocacy
- Parent/caregiver guidance where appropriate, to strengthen the home support system
Our experienced psychotherapist has over 18 years of practice across youth, relationship, and trauma work. Together, we will help you acknowledge the abuse, rebuild your sense of self, learn to love yourself, and recognise healthy relationships.
Ready to start?
- Book an appointment or contact us
- Prefer to message first? WhatsApp us
The information in this article is for educational purposes and isn’t a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
