Anger Management Counselling and Therapy in Singapore

Frequently Asked Questions About Anger Management Counselling and Therapy in Singapore

• What is anger?

  Anger is an intense emotion causing extreme irritation and annoyance, leading to outbursts of temper that are out of proportion to the situation in context. Anger is a secondary emotion. Behind anger are feelings of humiliation, shame, helplessness, powerlessness, etc.

• I've tried taking a deep breath and counting to ten. Why doesn't it work?

  Those are basic first-aid techniques, and if the emotional pressure is too high, they often fail. Our approach addresses the source of the pressure. We don't just give you a bigger lid for the pot; we help you turn down the heat by processing unresolved emotions and changing the core beliefs that are causing it to boil over in the first place.

• How is your approach different from standard anger management?

  Traditional anger management often focuses on controlling the symptom, the outburst itself, through techniques like relaxation, deep breathing and time-outs. Our approach is different. We use integrative psychotherapy (including EMDR, Schema Therapy and Gestalt Therapy) to identify and heal the root causes of your anger, such as past trauma, unmet emotional needs, or deeply held negative beliefs. We don't just teach you to manage the fire; we help you remove the fuel so it can't start in the first place.

• I can control my anger at work, but I lose it with my family. Why is that so?

  This is one of the most common patterns we see. It often happens because we feel safest (or most frustrated) with our families, and underlying issues like stress, unresolved hurt, or unmet needs surface there. Yes, we can absolutely help. We use techniques like Schema Therapy to identify these specific triggers and Gestalt Therapy to practice new ways of communicating in a safe environment, so you can bring your "calm self" home.

• What are the likely root causes of anger?

  The root cause is rarely the present-day situation that triggers you. It's often an unhealed wound from your past that the current situation unknowingly touches. For example: - A core belief of "I'm not good enough" (a schema) formed in childhood, making you hypersensitive to criticism at work. - A traumatic memory of being bullied that gets triggered during conflicts with your partner, causing a disproportionate rage response. - An unexpressed emotion like grief or fear that manifests as anger because it feels safer or more powerful. Our job is to help you uncover and heal these underlying issues.

• How long will it take for me to see results?

  This is different for everyone, as it depends on the depth and complexity of the issues we're addressing. However, many of our clients report feeling a sense of relief and gaining valuable insights within the first few sessions. Techniques like EMDR can often produce noticeable shifts in how you react to triggers more quickly than traditional talk therapy. During our initial assessment, we will provide you with a better understanding of a potential timeline based on your unique goals.

• How do I know which technique (EMDR, Schema, etc.) is right for me?

  You don't need to be the expert—that is our role. A key part of our initial assessment is to identify the core patterns driving your anger. Based on this, we will design a tailored approach. For example, if a past traumatic memory is a primary trigger, we may use EMDR. If it's a lifelong pattern of difficult relationships, Schema Therapy would be central. Often, we seamlessly blend techniques within a session to best serve your moment-to-moment needs.

• What if I start feeling worse when we bring up difficult memories?

  This is a very important question. Our integrated approach is specifically designed to titrate the work—meaning we balance processing difficult material with building your resources and coping skills. Techniques like EMDR have built-in protocols for containment, ensuring you can leave a session feeling stable and grounded. Your therapist will continuously check in with you and equip you with tools to manage emotional intensity safely.

• I'm worried therapy will just blame my parents or my past.

  Our goal is never to place blame, but to understand the root causes so we can heal them. Understanding that you learned certain coping mechanisms as a child (through Schema Therapy) is about empowerment, not blame. It allows you to consciously decide, as an adult, to let go of what no longer serves you and build healthier patterns.

• Do I really need therapy? Can't I just fix this on my own?

  Wanting to fix it yourself is a sign of strength. However, anger is often tied to blind spots—patterns we simply can't see on our own. A therapist acts as a skilled guide to help you identify these patterns and provides proven tools you may not have access to.

• I'm ready to start, but I'm still nervous. What does the first session look like?

  It's completely normal to feel nervous. The first session is not about diving straight into intense work. It's a collaborative conversation where we get to know you and your story in detail.