By Carol Goh
Worried about your teen’s wellbeing? Book an appointment, contact us, or WhatsApp us for a quicker response. Related: Youth Counselling, Psychotherapy.
Every individual has a different experience with loneliness, which is a common human emotion. The prevention and treatment of this potentially harmful mental state might vary greatly since there is no single cause.
In this article, we discuss what the term “loneliness” means, its various causes, potential health consequences and treatment options.
What is loneliness?
People who are lonely experience empty, isolating, and unwelcome feelings. Lonely individuals frequently crave human interaction, yet their mental state makes socialising challenging.
Many experts agree that loneliness is not always associated with being physically alone. Rather, loneliness affects one’s state of mind and causes an individual to feel isolated from others, even if they may physically be in social settings.
Loneliness VS Solitude
While the two terms are often used interchangeably, loneliness and solitude are actually two different concepts.
Feelings of isolation despite a desire for social relationships are characteristics of loneliness. Some may also perceive loneliness as abandonment and rejection. On the other hand, solitude is voluntary. People who enjoy spending time alone are still able to maintain positive relationships with others.
Causes of loneliness
Situational aspects, including physical isolation, relocation, breakups, bullying, dysfunctional families, and being ostracised by peers, are all examples of contributing elements to loneliness in youths. Loneliness can also result from the loss of a friend or family member.
Internal issues such as poor self-esteem might also be linked to loneliness. Past experiences such as being shamed by others or extremely critical parents can severely damage an individual’s self-esteem, which results in them having negative beliefs about themselves. People who lack self-assurance frequently think they are undeserving of other people’s attention or respect, which can result in exclusion and long-term loneliness. Moreover, they may hesitate to socialise due to the fear of being shamed, ostracised or rejected as well.
For related support, see Bullying & Mental Health in Youths and Conquering Low Self-esteem.
How loneliness is associated with depression
Research has shown that loneliness and depression are often connected. The main difference is that depression is a mental health condition, whilst loneliness is a generalised emotion.
Depression is a complex mental disorder that frequently results from various factors. Feelings of loneliness, especially when it persists for a long time, could be a sign of this mental health condition. In fact, loneliness has been linked to a significant share of depression cases.
However, loneliness and depression often involve similar emotions. Common signs of both include:
- Low energy or restlessness
- Self-doubt and low self-esteem
- Tendency to isolate, which further worsens the condition (wanting interaction but lacking the confidence to engage)
- Changes in sleep patterns or appetite
- Irritability or appearing “cold,” when there is actually fear that blocks reaching out
If these signs resonate, you may also find Seeking Help for Depression useful.
Overcoming loneliness
While feelings of loneliness are more common than many think, they can sometimes have a serious effect on mental health—especially if unresolved for too long.
If loneliness is affecting your well-being or if you are struggling with depression, it is incredibly beneficial to consider therapy. A certified counsellor will help identify, address and resolve the factors contributing to loneliness. Often, as mentioned above, loneliness is associated with deeper and past issues, which can also be resolved in therapy (e.g., grief, depression, PTSD after losses or bullying).
At Emotional Wellness Counselling Singapore, we use integrative psychotherapy (e.g., EMDR, Schema Therapy, CBT, Gestalt, and Bibliotherapy) to build insight, reduce shame, and restore healthy connection skills.
Learn more: EMDR, Schema Therapy, Bibliotherapy.
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The information in this article is for educational purposes and isn’t a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
